Girl's Night OUT

 So my VCR is set for Channel 11 at 9pm every Saturday night... So my hard drive icon is a chacram and my background pattern is a video capture of the Warrior Princess and her sidekick in a steamy bath scene... So I bought a plastic sword at Toys-R-Us... So I named my pale new fish Gabrielle... So I've planned my next vacation to stalk - uh, to see New Zealand's sights... So I have erotic dreams about Amazonian women in leather... That doesn't prove that I'm a Xena fan. No, what proves my loyalty to the do-gooder of middle earth is that I actually plunked down $33.75 for an orchestra seat to Grease on Broadway starring the princess herself, Lucy Lawless. She sings, dances, and hams her way through one of the cheesiest productions in town.

Do yourself a favor and arrive exactly at curtain time; the pre-show show is agonizingly cute and LOUD, with a dance contest for everyone under the age of 10. The story is sparse, the acting is beyond chewing scenery, and the music is loud and familiar - but (and this ain't because I would lick the boots she saves the world in) Lucy Lawless is truly the best thing in it! She really made me believe she was Betty Rizzo, the slut-with-a-heart-of-gold leader of the Pink Ladies - that means she wears more leather and shows off her belly-button while singing a ballad. Betty Rizzo, by the way, is a role that has always been played by dyke-icons: Rosie O'Donnell, Sandra Bernhardt, Maureen McCormack (Marcia Brady, femme fatale), and now Xena, Warrior Princess. Renee O'Connor should play Sandy Dumbrowski (and then we'll know what they go off to do together at the end of the second act!). But I digress...

The show felt like a WNBA game - it's the same crowd of kids, parents, and screaming dykes (replete in Xena paraphernalia!). Some adoring butch ladies even handed Ms. Lawless a big bouquet of roses at the curtain call and she blew a big kiss in gratitude. Interestingly, her bio in Playbill conspicuously ends with "Now separated, she is the mother of a nine-year-old daughter, Daisy." Stating her dating availability for her legions of worshippers at Xena Nights? Maybe not, but Lawless showed up at Meow Mix for last month's festivities to check out the masses for herself. And what a scene it was! She graciously mingled and signed a few t-shirts to be awarded at future sword-fighting contests in her honor.

While Xena night is the second Tuesday of every month, Lucy Lawless's run in Grease lasts only until October 19 (she's gotta go back down under to film more wonderful episodes!), so get your tickets now, and don't forget your swords!

Grease
(with Lucy Lawless only through Oct 19)
@ Eugene O'Neill Theatre
230 W 49th St (Bway/Eighth)
212-239-6200
Mon-Tue, Thu-Fri 8pm
Sat 2pm & 8pm, Sun 1pm & 6pm
$25-$70

Xena Night
@ Meow Mix
269 E Houston St (Suffolk)
212-254-1434
Second Tue of every month
7pm
$3

Xena: Warrior Princess
Sat 9pm & Sun 1:30pm
WPIX Ch. 11


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